What’s Your Full Name?
That is the state
That is what these places are intended to do
And it’s just this oppressive feel
What’s your full name?
What I’d like you to do is
I’d like you to take all your civilian clothing off
And put the prison clothing on
And that includes your underwear, alright?
What else have you got?
You finished then?
What’s your full name?
Born in New Zealand?
Been in trouble before?
Are you on any drugs or medication?
Does your next of kin know you’re being held at Wellington?
Is there any urgent matter that needs attention?
Out of this here
What do you want issued to you?
You can have your wedding ring
Your watch
Pen
Glasses
Pipe
Matches
But not your tobacco
Because that might contain something else
We’ll issue you with tobacco ourselves, alright?
Alright
You just get your bed made now
Settle in
Couple of rules
Don’t stick anything on the walls, alright?
And this button here
It’s an emergency-only button
It’s not a light switch
So only if you’re sick
Give that a press
And someone will come see you, alright?
You’ll find it rather difficult sometimes
If you’re in a cell with someone else
So if you feel like crying
Maybe this is the room to have a good cry in
Feeling better?
Would you like a cigarette?
Might help you feel a little bit better
I have some questions that I would like to ask you
You’re married?
And what’s your wife’s name?
And you have children?
And you’ve not had much chance
To talk to her since you’ve been sentenced
Was she in court?
So you’ve got quite a lot of talking to do between you
Perhaps we could send someone from Prisons Aid to visit her?
We have family visitors at Prisons Aid
Someone like that could go and visit
And help her in some way?
How are you feeling?
I’m not here to judge you
I’m here to be your friend
Call me Arthur
Have you been suicidal at all?
Fish out of water really
You didn’t take your own life
And that’s good
Do you wish to appeal against your conviction
Or sentence
On this charge?
Has it been explained to you
How you earn eligibility for early release?
Have you got a trade
Or an interest that could be put to use
While you’re in prison?
What thought have you given to spiritual things
Since you were arrested?
Prison will drag you down
If you allow it to drag you down
You’re going to have to try and maintain your own sense of dignity
And at the same time living in with other inmates
But do your own sentence
I can only wish you well in that effort
It’ll take some doing
And someone put on Guns and Roses’ “Welcome To The Jungle”
Some people came in who’d just been remanded in custody
Welcome to the jungle
Fuck yeah
This is a different place for you
A hundred screws
On either side of the hallway
And they’re all just giving us the evils
The screw comes in
Little short fuckin’ dude
“Who’d you assault, boy?”
And I went, “What?”
And he goes, “Who’d you assault?”
And I went, “Oh, an inmate.”
“Good. Inmates assaulting inmates – I like that.”
Got my pants back on
He comes back in
Pushes past all the screws
Gets right in front of my face
And goes, “Who else did you assault, boy?”
“A screw.”
Fists start flying
They’re all out in the wing
And they’re all trying to push in
Like a concert
And fuckin’ beat the fuck out of me, basically
Threw us in the cells for two weeks to recover
They know how to look after themselves
They were all having a party or something
Fuckin’ Christmas time and that
The most fucking resonant thing
I have ever heard in my life
I was a little shit
So I kind of deserved it anyway
What’s your full name?
What I’d like you to do is
I’d like you to take all your civilian clothing off
And put the prison clothing on
And that includes your underwear, alright?
What else have you got?
You finished then?
What’s your full name?
Born in New Zealand?
Been in trouble before?
Are you on any drugs or medication?
Does your next of kin know you’re being held at Wellington?
Is there any urgent matter that needs attention?