Plastic Gangster

Now the story behind that

I’d be sacked today

There was a young guy

Their youngest guy

And he was the most mouthy

And annoying and that

‘Mr Mafia’

Only a young fella

But ‘Mr Mafia’

And his attitude was,

‘Rerr, you lot of phrar-rar-rar’

He’s gonna be the ‘Mr Mafia’ of Wellington

The head of the drug

The head, big, big tough guy

We were playing four square

And he had a beef

‘Cause I fuckin’ took the square or whatever

We’re in the middle of an open type of thing

With all the different gangs around

So, I says, “Ah yeah, in the toilets.”

You know

“Let’s have a go.”

And fuckin’

We walked over the toilets

And he had his arms like this

Little skinny guy

Fuckin’ arms out like that

And as we get closer

His arms slowly went down like this

And he turns around, goes,

“Ah nah, there’s screw coming.”

And I looked at the wall

Says, “No, there’s not,”

Fuckin’

And attacked him

Boob walking early morning

Oh the swagger

Oh the bling

He still be boob walking

With the sun setting on the West Wing

His body speaks

It says, “I show no mercy.”

With a front lat spread

Of his latissimus dorsi

He’s a plastic gangster

He’s a fake-ass figure

Ain’t got nothing with a trigger

He’s a plastic gangster

He’s a vacuumed brainer

He’s a Tupperware container

He’s a plastic gangster

Boob walker

Tough talker

You’re a thing of cartoons

‘Til someone pulls a shivvy

Gonna pop your balloons

And soon enough

You’ll find it’s true what they say

“Every baller gets bounced

By the end of the day.”

He’s a plastic gangster

Look a little felon

With his giant watermelons

He’s a plastic gangster

He’s a vacuumed brainer

He’s a Tupperware container

He’s a plastic gangster

Just one look you can tell

He’s a ball boy for the NZ NBL

He’s a plastic gangster

Could someone call his mama?

‘Cause he’s just a kaka fulla

He’s a plastic gangster

He’s a plastic gangster

Knows how to boob walk

He’s a plastic gangster

Knows how to shit-talk

He’s a plastic gangster

All cheese but no chalk

He’s a plastic gangster

Touting a fake name

He’s a plastic gangster

Bluffing a big game

He’s so plastic

Watch him melt under naked flame

He’s a plastic gangster.

He’s a fake-ass figure

Ain’t got nothing with a trigger

He’s a plastic gangster

He’s a vacuumed brainer

He’s a Tupperware container

He’s a plastic gangster

Look a little felon

With his giant watermelons

He’s a plastic gangster

Could someone call his mama?

‘Cause he’s just a kaka fulla

He’s a plastic gangster

I said, “I’ll, I’ll,

I’ll ‘Mr Mafia’ you,” I said

And I put him down in solitary confinement

And said, “You think about it here

Before you mix with my nice inmates.”

Each day I’d go in

And I’d say, “And how is Mr Mafia?”

“Hrrr, hrrr, hrrr.”

Come Friday, and he looked at me

“Eh, hey boss

Give us a break, will ya?”

Different voice

“Give us a break, will ya?”

I said, “Have you,

Have you finished with this ‘Mr Mafia’ idea?”

He said, “Yeah.”

I said, “Right, I’ll give you a break. Out you come.”

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Bully And The Woodchopper